Audiences may not have the right read on The Book of Eli.

They see Denzel Washington in a post-apocalyptic world, carrying a giant knife and scowling at his enemies.  They think he must be Eli, and according to The Book of Eli, there’s a new law enforcer in the village – and the book wants him to kick some ass.

Oh, there’s some ass kicking, and yes, Denzel does live his life by what’s in the book.  I’d normally be happy to come across a movie that isn’t everything it seems to be – but what it seems to be rolls out awfully slow.

What is The Book of Eli?  We don’t find out until more than an hour in.  Here’s what we know early on.  Civilization as we know it has been wiped out by a “great war” and a “great flash.”  Denzel’s nameless character has gotten hold of a mysterious holy book.  Entirely on faith, he’s been told to walk West and take the book to its destiny.  He draws strength by reading the book everyday.

He stumbles into a village under the iron grip of a gang boss named Carnegie (the great Gary Oldman), who dispatches his illiterate thugs out in search of books.  They bring him everything from The Da Vinci Code to Oprah’s O Magazine, but he wants a copy of the book.   The book that was so influential every copy was seemingly destroyed after the war.  The book he even heard was the reason for the war in the first place.  The book he knows he can read to the masses and they’ll follow him wherever he goes.

What is this mysterious book?

Do I have to hit you over the head with Eli’s blade?

It takes forever to get to what isn’t so much an allegory but a flat-out obvious religious fable.  It’s almost the Left Behind movies with A-list stars.

That’d be fine if it didn’t move so slowly and feel like any other post-apocalyptic thriller.  Everyone wears layers of clothes, including gun belts and knives.  There’s trading for goods, scavengers on the hunt and a lot of standoffs that end just after our hero tells the unsuspecting gang that “they better just move on.”  As directed by The Hughes Brothers, the world is very grey with occasional sunlight peeking through.  It looks cool, but not all that original.  Pardon the pun, but it’s all done by the post-apocalyptic book. 

The non-pacificists in the audience do get some of the action they hope for.  When Denzel hits, he hits hard and with the brutality of a crusading knight.  And I will say this for The Book of Eli – I didn’t entirely see the ending coming.  Sure, I knew what the book was, but it does still contain a surprise.  Washington displays some of the intensity we’ve loved in Training Day or Malcolm X, but like Caine in Kung Fu “walking the earth,” he’s largely restrained.  That’s got to be annoying for Denzel fans, although the ending may explain the performance.

It’s going to take patience to wander the Earth with Denzel, and while the end of the journey doesn’t completely save the movie, it does move it up a point at least.